Most of you know that I am in the midst of writing the Black Girls Are Easy book. While I was finishing a chapter called: The 10 Questions You Have To Ask On A First Date, I read an email that made me realize that I skipped a step. Dating seems like the first thing you do when beginning a relationship but in actuality you can’t go on a date unless someone approaches you. How do you decide who you will go out with? For men it’s the girl we pull. When we see a girl there is something about her, mostly face, breast, or ass, that leads to the initial contact. Men wield the power of choice because 9 out of 10 times they’re the ones asking a girl out. Women on the other hand, they rarely speak first or ask men out on dates. So this means females give up all power in choosing who they date. She can say yes or no, but since she doesn’t think it’s, “lady like” to ask a guy for his name, number, and when he wants to kick it, she has to simply wait around for the perfect storm of a man she likes who has the balls to approach her… good luck. Why can’t women find good dates? Because they aren’t proactive. They wait around for a cute guy to walk over, and when he doesn’t, they settle for the first guy who makes conversation and doesn’t look half bad. Why the fuck would you go out with him in the first place if you weren’t feeling him? A free meal is one thing, but cheddar bay biscuits aren’t good enough to spend 90 minutes with a weirdo.  Women agree to dates with guys who aren’t their type because those are the only guys that approach them, not necessarily the guys they’re attracted to.

Why Don’t Men Approach You? And if a man does approach you why is it “the wrong type”? That dude you spot from across the room, he’s well dressed, smiling, no ring on his finger, and has the look that you go for. But he never crosses over and introduces himself. He doesn’t even glance your way no matter how hard you think to yourself, “look over, look over, look over“. The first problem is you’re being a punk by trying to telepathically signal this guy to talk to you. Unless your homegirls are Storm and Rouge, you need to get your ass up and open your mouth because you don’t have mutant powers that can make him read your mind. Why wait for him to notice you? If you see what you want go for it. Why give your number to the bad breath bus boy instead of switching over and giving it to the guy you really want? Why are you settling for bad dates with 6’s when you could be dating 10’s? Women are shy. Even bold women turn into little ass girls when it comes to making the first move with a stranger. What if he thinks you’re ugly? You don’t want to come off desperate. Maybe you’re not his type. He looks like he has a girlfriend. You still have ten more pounds to lose. Your horoscope didn’t call for love today. All of these excuses are bullshit. Closed mouths don’t get feed, and a lot of women would starve if talking to men were food. But if you don’t want to Spartan up and approach those niggas you want to date, then here are some things that should help your scared ass get his attention.

Don’t Mean Mug: If you walk the food court with the same expression you have when taking a shit, you have a problem.I don’t care how pretty you are, no man wants to start a conversation with a woman that looks eternally constipated. I love Goons because Goons holla at any girl. The one thing I learned when I was younger was the line, “The fuck you looking mad for?” is the ultimate hood icebreaker. Most girls patrolling the streets, malls, or bus stops alone always had a mug on, even when they weren’t mad. So most of us learned that asking why they were mad and having her respond, “I’m not mad, I’m just thinking” was the key to sparking convo. Most guys aren’t willing to walk up to a chick that has that ‘first time having anal sex’ expression, so they keep walking, scouting for a bitch that has a smile on her face. This is where the problem occurs. The guy you like isn’t the goon in the red fitted hat and skinny jeans hanging off his ass who will talk to you regardless, you’re crushing on the guy in the button up who looks like he actually works for a living. That guy in the button up may think you’re attractive but he’s not going to put himself out there and get dissed by a girl who’s mugging harder than Fredo Starr. You don’t have to walk around looking cheerleader chipper, but be conscious of the stank face when you’re out in public.

Stop Hiding Behind Your Girls: The hardest thing for a man to do is go into a pack of wolves and introduce himself. A guy would rather pull an ugly chick with a big ass because she’s by herself than a super dime whose being flanked by her girlfriends. Four Mighty Morphin Power Ratchets are walking together, a guy is by himself, says fuck it and speaks to the one he’s interested in. He’s risking failure most epic. The other three girls are going to feel some type of way. I don’t care if the others are in relationships, the fact that a nigga would pick another girl out of that line up instead of them, is saying “She’s > all you hoes. That may not even be the case, sometimes a guy goes for the 2nd cutest because the first cutest looks like she’s a bitch. And lord help him if another girl in the group likes him. She’s going to look at that nigga with more disdain than Casey Anthony after that pregnancy test turned pink. I’ve seen girlfriends cock block because they were clearly bitter. So you can’t blame a guy for being intimidated by those odds. At the same time it’s probably better to meet guys when you are with your girlfriends, there is strength in numbers when attracting a guy, especially if you look better than your friends. When you’re with other girls and you spot a guy you think is cute, don’t whisper like you’re a six year old who accidentally wet her pants. Do what niggas do, have them hoes play the part of the Wingman. I’ve messed with several girls who I would never have approached, but because their homegirls called me over and said, “My girl says what’s up” it was on and popping. Who cares if having your friends break the ice for you is considered young and cowardly, nothing is lamer than silence.

You Can’t Fuck Your Phone: This social networking shit is out of control. I was at a house party not too long ago and this cute girl stood by the wall playing on her phone the entire time. It’s 11pm, you’re not checking emails, you’re reading your newsfeed every five minutes, thirsty to see what other people are doing instead of living your life. That reeks of basicness. In the supermarket, which is a great place to catch the attention of normal everyday guys, you’ll see dozens of girls looking down at their phones instead of looking up. How can a guy approach you if you’re acting like Diddy? You’re not signing artist, you’re not brokering business deals, you’re texting back and forth with Shawntae about where you should go to find men, meanwhile an eligible man is taking his time in the frozen food section, hoping that you put that damn phone down long enough for him to make small talk. Everywhere I go I see girls talking or typing. You’re out living your life; you don’t have to be on the phone every minute that you’re outside. You want to make yourself look busy, well it’s working because that man was ready to ask what your name was and then he realized you were on the phone… maybe next time.

The Art of The Eye Fuck: This is the most important tool for women who don’t want to officially make the first move. It’s a cheat, but it works wonders. Eye contact is important, but a lot of girls don’t know how to properly eye fuck. Looking at someone and looking at someone you want to talk to are two entirely different glances. I suggest looking at POV porn of Jesse Jane giving dome, now that’s the eye of the tiger look that makes a man stop his conversation and walk over to you. The next time you see a guy you’re interested in, no matter where you are, initiate eye contact. I’m not talking about the “act like you’re looking at something else and sneak a peek, then pretend you didn’t look” shit that girls do all the time. I want you to look at him until his eyes lock on you, and then hold it, I know you’re embarrassed you don’t like looking in people’s faces, but hold that for three seconds. The hardest thing about eye contact is the turn away. It’s always abrupt, and you don’t want him to be the one to break it first. At the three-second mark bite your lip slightly, men have oral fixations so this takes his eyes off your eyes and shifts focus to your mouth. Now that he’s looking at your lips, smile and find something else to look at. Now he’s looking at you, he’s waiting for you to look back at him, but you don’t have to. Smile again, this makes him think, “she’s thinking about me“. What you just did was tattoo his brain. Now he has the confidence to talk to you because you gave him an obvious signal. If he’s interested, he’s going to come over and talk to you—guaranteed.

Dress To Erect: Why do girls with nice bodies dress as if they’re trying to prevent rape? If I were a girl, I would be on my Sofia Vergara shit all day every day. I wouldn’t care what girl hated and what thirsty nigga molested me with his eyes. A nice looking woman exudes confidence; all of you should know this. Okay, then why do I constantly see girls dressed like its laundry day? If dudes are rocking jeans and t-shirts that are tighter than yours, you need to reevaluate your fashion choices. I don’t care if you’re going to the store to grab a loaf of bread and some Playtex gentle glides, show the fuck off. Bum bitches say shit like, “it don’t matter what I wear, niggas are going to be on me”. Then why the hell are you single and still fucking your ex-boyfriend from a year ago? Because you walk around wearing the type of clothes bad bitches paint in. I’m not talking about brands, I’m talking about looking sexy. Show some cleavage, buy some pants that hug your ass, dare to throw some Nair on those rough ass legs and rock a skirt for a change. Coming up I never liked approaching females, I shied away from it without regret, because men realize that another bus runs every 15 minutes. Men can pussy out from talking to one bad chick, then meet another by the end of the week. Those of us who aren’t thirsty have choices, so we don’t have to approach every big booty Judy with a Rihanna dye job like she’s the last girl on earth

Just because you’re pretty doesn’t mean it’s enough to make him approach you. Sometimes you have to sweeten the pot. The girls that made me open my mouth and take a chance at rejection were those who looked too good to stay quiet. Nothing turns me on more than a nicely dressed female. If you come out the house with a dry ass ponytail and dirty sandals, you’re telling me you don’t care about your appearance and that your vagina hasn’t been washed in the last 48hrs. If you come out of the house looking like a star, then even the shiest guy will be forced to inquire who the hell you are. We men think with our dicks. Impress our penis and we’ll run across traffic to approach you.

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