People love to spew the cliché of “everyone deserves a second chance” and forgiveness is what a good person practices. Bullshit. Not everyone deserves a second chance and not knowing when to walk away will rob you of the best years of your life. One more chance turns into two more chances followed by one last chance. How many times do you need the same person to piss in your mouth before you figure out urine doesn’t taste good? Let’s say you’ve had an up and down relationship with a guy, he’s lied and cheated, and finally you two split. He’s sick without you, begs like a puppy dog, and three weeks after swearing him off, you’re reconsidering. Your mother tells you that everyone deserves a chance, your best friend tells you that nigga still ain’t shit. Which advice do you take? Your mother’s older and wiser, so she’s always right… Hell no, she’s probably been dumbed out by your daddy and is still paying the price for giving that clown endless chances. Your friend is giving you the best advice, but when you’re in love anything that doesn’t end with, “Go ahead and take him back”, is considered hating. People love the idea of one more chance, not because it’s morally sound, but because it gives them permission to choose with their heart instead of their head. When you want someone so bad, you will pull weak ass celebrity examples out of your ass, biblical quotes, and even place the blame on your own attitude and behavior. Some situations are unique and do deserve a chance to work itself out. The fucked up thing is that every girl thinks that her situation is special, her guy is different, and she can make anything work. To get played when you thought that your love was real and that you were the greatest woman in the world is embarrassing. However, is the sickening pain you feel a result of true love or the humbling effect of incompatibility?
All women have a general fantasy list of wants they look for. When a girl finally finds someone who sort of meets some of those qualities, she jumps on him and prematurely closes shop because she’s sick of waiting and looking for a man with all of her qualities. Most women only talk to men that talk to them first. Thus, their options are based on how social they are. Limited options will make even the most desired woman settle for less, and once that happens, tunnel vision occurs. This guy in front of you isn’t perfect, but it took you so long to find him that it makes him the best option by default. Men like this don’t come around often, so I better be thankful, lower my standards, and make it work by any means necessary. You dated other guys but none like him, therefore he’s who god wants you to be with, who you are destined to marry, and all you need to do is weather the storm of his red flags and you’ll win out. Womp Womp. Keep it real, you’ve probably dated from the same pool of losers since you were sixteen, you finally went to a lake in your 20’s, and think just because that catch was better than what you’re used to, he’s heaven sent. You’re settling and you haven’t even made it to the ocean yet! It’s this perceived lack of options and want to make a toxic relationship work that keeps so many women running back and repeating the same bullshit scenario with the same bullshit men. There are countless men out here that aren’t trying to just fuck and play games, but you won’t meet them if your ego and heart keep you chained to easy options.
Want Vs. Need
I’m me, therefore I get what I want. That kind of brat ass mentality is not only responsible for people living above their means, it causes people to enter into bad relationships then desperately hold on to them. I hear it all the time: I don’t chase’em I replace’em, ask about me. If I wanted him as my boyfriend he would be that, ask about me. After I put this pussy on him he ain’t going nowhere, ask about me! You’ve never replaced anybody, no one knows who the fuck you are, and your pussy doesn’t have a cult following. That kind of inflated ego that makes you think you can turn any man into the hubby type will turn you into the desperate type. You meet a guy you think is handsome, crush on him, and since you are Shine Bright Like A Diamond No Filter Red Bottom Boss Bitch and you always get what you want, you proclaim that Chris Brown Junior is going to be your new man and set out to prove how great you are by not only getting him but keeping him. The rude awakening happens when that guy who you must have, isn’t impressed with your looks or swag, the same way the thirst bucket simps are. Your ego can’t take that so instead of proving to him what an awesome woman you are through conversation– you fuck him. Basic bitches swear a shot of their coochie will bring any man to their knees. Your pussy isn’t magical, it’s a crutch that you’re using because you don’t have anything else to barter with. When dealing with any man you have to ask yourself: Who is he really and why does he deserve me. You’re too fucking old to be having, “he got pretty eyes, I want him to be my boyfriend” thoughts. A sensible person would never impulsively rush after something just becomes it looks good on the surface. These dudes today are used cars, and girls get so open off the candy paint and shiny rims that they forget to kick the tires and check under the hood. It doesn’t matter what red flags this man is showing you, he looks good and you want that. And just like the idiot that goes and buys a ten year old car with 200k miles on it because it has a BMW logo, you’re going to get fucked in the end.
The difference between a girl and a woman is the maturity to recognize what you need in your life as opposed to want. A silly girl goes out and buys Beyoncé tickets that cost more than what she makes in two weeks, just so she can say, “I breathed the same air as Bey!” A smart woman is probably a bigger fan, but recognizes that her heat staying on for the rest of the winter is more important than Idol worshiping the box that Matthew built. When it comes to men, that same “Want Want Want” mentality will cause a silly girl to go through relationship hell because she is obsessed with having just to have. She falls for some bum nigga and doesn’t understand the concept of incompatibility or exploitation, she just hangs on and hopes that he’ll act right… one day. A smart woman doesn’t think inside that “I want what I want because I want it” brat bubble, she only wants what she feels is healthy. A smart woman recognizes when her kindness has been taken for weakness and is strong enough to walk away no matter how infatuated, in like, in love, or whatever she is with that bum. Why can’t you live your life like this? Every woman will make a mistake at one point in life and choose the wrong guy, but wise is the one that recognizes her bad choice quickly, and corrects it!
The inability to understand how to get what you want in the Spartan way and a general lack of patience has lead to there being more silly bitches than smart women these days. Your GPA is high but your Dick IQ is Looooow as fuck. You need stability, honesty, and commitment, but you don’t know how to get that from the type of men you’re into so you end up submitting to him and hoping your pussy is good enough to get that stability, honesty, and commitment the day after. You need a man who can stand on his own feet and be your partner, but you end up supporting a man for years hoping that your loyalty is good enough to make him put a ring on it, only to see him walk right out of your life once he does land on his feet. You know better but why haven’t you begun to do better? You are a smart woman but why are you allowing silly bitch actions to ruin your life? Stop hustling backwards and Spartan up! Pussy can’t lasso love and loyalty is often a one way street. If you’re chasing behind a man who won’t give you a straight answer about a relationship or constantly breaking up and getting back with a guy who routinely fucks you over, then it’s time to reevaluate his true value. What do you need that only he can provide? Nothing!!! Dick, companionship, looks, money, that shit isn’t as rare as you think if you actually get off your ass and meet new people. You don’t need that particular man, he’s just convinced you that you do.
On and off relationships are for teenagers and weaklings. Every time I hear some wide eyed Basica regurgitate, “love is worth fighting for” I want to laugh. You’re the only one fighting, you fool. What you have isn’t love, it’s dependency. The sweetest joy next to getting pussy isn’t revenge, it’s manipulation. He cheats for adventure because you’re boring him. You act out but he knows you’re bluffing when you say you’re leaving him. He kisses your ass, talks about suicide, and promises to change not because he’s crazy in love, but because he’s experimenting with his control over you, seeing which button he can push to get you back in check. Manipulating a woman into opening her heart and legs back up is just as exciting as getting new pussy because it takes real strategy and makes us feel like geniuses. Oh you met a new dude who owns his own business and treats you like a queen—watch how easy I turn on the tears, get back in that pussy, and fuck that new nigga’s number right out of your phone #DontBelieveMeJustWatch. That’s not a joke, men thrive on that kind of challenge. Niggas get bored early and often, and although we claim we hate drama, playing with a chick’s emotions is our favorite pastime. In high school we all learn “the secret”: A girl will put up with things that she swears she would never put up with if you can convince her that you’re invaluable. As we grow into men we’re able to tell which women are really, “not for play” and which are dick silly. A dick silly girl wants you so bad that she thinks she needs you. Our job as men is to keep her pussy open and her head gassed, so even when we fuck the next girl, she won’t really break up because she views us like we’re oxygen—a necessity. One of my favorite anonymous quotes from a homie is, “That bitch ain’t going nowhere”. It’s the real life Jedi mind trick, wave a dick in her face, calmly proclaim that you love her, and she’s as docile as a Stormtropper.
It kills you not to be talking to him. You want to change everything about yourself to make him want you again. He understands you and is your everything! Why so serious? Because he texts you emoji’s every morning? Because he listened to you complain about family issues and said, “it’s okay, baby“? Because he’s the first lightskin nigga that’s shown you attention offline? Where’s the real proof that he actually cares? Why do you have to yell, curse, and cry for him to show you respect? Right now there are women reading this who have been hurt by the men they love multiple times. She’s stopped answering his calls, she hasn’t cried in a few days, and she tells everyone that it’s really over this time. But as soon as he calls talking all low and sweet, reminiscing about the good times, and telling her how good her pussy used to taste, their lame ass relationship will be on again. By summer it will be off again. By fall it will be on again. What kind of love keeps resetting on a quarterly basis? Everyone argues and goes through drama, but the bullshit some of you go through is above and beyond growing pains. Real love isn’t a rollarcoaster, it’s a fucking tank. If a man really loves you he wouldn’t be making the same mistakes every few months. Are you going to really buy into the sob story that he was confused? That he’s the victim of a hoe conspiracy? That all he need is for you to mother him and he’ll do better? Bitch bye. You’re trapped in a game of Grand Theft Auto: Dick Silly City, and that man you think can’t live without has the controller in his hand.
You Never Needed Him
He’s the one for me, we talked about getting married, I never had someone who I felt this strongly about, and I know this time will be different. Send me your PayPal email so I can deposit a clue. If he was really your soul mate, he wouldn’t be trying to mate other souls. He wouldn’t lie about any and everything. He wouldn’t be trying to fuck the same girl you forgave him for trying to fuck last year. You didn’t do your homework and you chose the wrong man, it happens, and it’s okay to fail. He can have several positive traits that you love, but they will never outweigh two negatives—dishonesty and disrespect. Let’s look at the real reason you’re afraid to let go—perception. You’re ready to give him his 4th chance to do right because you don’t want to seem like a girl who wasn’t good enough to keep her man from leaving. You don’t want to seem like just another girl who couldn’t get her baby daddy to marry her. You want to break the stereotype and be that woman who had her true love come back and prove himself, but the odds are that you’re going to end up the girl who had her true love come back and give her another STD. Stop letting your FIX-A-NIGGA pride keep setting you up for failure! You’ve created this perfect life in the mind of your family, friends, and instagram followers that you are the most incredible woman in the world and to go back to being single will shatter that false reality. If you can’t make your relationship work then all that love advice you give, all that Bae bragging you do, it tumbles down on you like– haha you in the boat like the rest of us. Who gives a fuck what other people think? Sticks and stones break bones, but those “bitch, where’s your man” jokes only hurt if you have fucks to give.
The ability to keep a man by staying locked in an unhealthy relationship does not get you a cookie. Putting up with pain doesn’t make a woman special, sadly it makes her too much like the past generations. What will make you special is that unlike a lot of these birds, you have so much respect for yourself that you’re willing to sacrifice comfort for happiness. A woman that is mature enough to pass up what she wants in order to get what she needs will always attract her happy ending! Should you give him one more chance? If you spend more time crying than smiling then you already know the answer. Just because that decision makes you feel ashamed, embarrassed, and depressed, doesn’t mean that it’s the wrong choice. Those feelings are temporary and worth going through if it frees you from his grip. Your man keeps setting fire to the house and you keep grabbing the extinguisher because this is the best crib you’ve ever been in and don’t want to lose it. That house is a piece of shit, but only after you let it burn will you be able to step away and see the toxic foundation it was built on. Most women are too close to the problem to understand just how big the problem truly is, but one day you will look back and appreciate what I’m telling you today. End it, not because it is the easy thing to do, but because it is the smart thing to do. Don’t be a slave to your dreams of marriage, your thirst for a soul mate, nor your egotistical desire to prove that you can make anything work. Forgiveness is a privilege, not a right, know when to walk away.